The days when it sucks…

Hello everybody!

First of I wanna say, there will be Spoilers to a book in here! Just so you can’t say that I didn’t warn you! 😉

Since my husband has been gone for quite a few months now, I am pretty much used to being ‘alone’.
But sometimes…

The other day my mum gave me a book. My parents LOVE their son in law, my husband. My brother isn’t married yet and I’m the youngest, so the baby anyway.
They loved him pretty much from the start and I’m so glad they do because I was definitely worried how they would react when I bring home an american who is also in the military. But they have always loved him like a son.

Anyway,
My mum is really into trying to make my life as a military wife easier and so she got me that book, called ‘Married to the Military’.
I read it. Well I started.
I read the first chapter and I liked it. A family of 5, about to become a family of 6 and just showing their hectic lifestyle, so just what we want for our future.
The second chapter though…
They were married for 13 years. 3 little girls. He was in the Air Force.
They moved to Alaska and one night he got send out to do a flight in cery bad weather.
I guess you all know what happened. He didn’t come back.
I cried while I was reading it. I closed the book and cried. I kept crying for about 2 more hours. I had to put away the book, kinda burry it. I just had to. This probably sounds very dramatic but that’s how I felt.

I was so terrified. Terrified that one day I’ll have to tell our kids that their daddy died. Have those people come up to my front door and tell me that he passed. I just couldn’t handle it in that moment.

I didn’t tell anyone. Not my mum, not my friends. Not my husband. Not my mum in law who has 3 of her 4 sons in the Air Force. Nobody. Why? Because I felt like no one would be able to understand what I feel like.
There was only one person who I knew I could tell this without having to feel bad about it or anything like that.

Is it just because it’s the first deployment? I dunno. Will it get better the longer i live the military lifestyle? I dunno.

What I do know, is that I love my husband. He’s my everything. I’ll probably always be terrified of losing him. But being scared just means that you don’t want to lose that person you love so much.
He is worth everything. And I know that i would always make the same decision to spend the rest of my life with him.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share this with the world. Or at least with everyone who reads this.
But why should I just share the happy moments? Life is everything. Sad and happy. And maybe, this will help someone who feels like they are alone with that feeling, like I did.

Have a good week everyone.
I’ll talk to you soon!!

__________________________

We chose this. We live this. We can do this. ❤

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The spooky time of the year!!

Hello everybody!

Since we’ve made it to fall now, it’s time to prepare for the next upcoming holiday:
HALLOWEEN!

Since I grew up in Germany and we don’t really celebrate it that big here it’s not a huge thing for me. But to my husband, who would still go trick or treat if he could, it’s the best holiday of the year! He loves the scary stuff and scared the hell out of me last year.

I was driving to the Base at like 11 pm or so and it was the most foggy night I have ever seen! I could barely see or drive faster than like 30 km/h (Sorry, no clue how much that is in miles) and I was terrified because I really felt like a zombie or a werewolf or something like that would jump out of the fog at any time!
I’m a little baby when it comes to that🙈

When I got to the Base I called him to come and get me, because we still needed a visitor pass back then.
I was just waiting on my car, hoping he’d get there super fast.
I was just listening to the music when I saw a shadow moving outside. I didn’t see where it went but I screamed my lungs out when my husband knocked on my window and just screamed at me. I was so mad at him!

But anyway, since he’s not home for Halloween this year, I decided to make him a Halloween care package.
So I got all the sweets he likes, and which can’t melt, and got him little things, like a shirt that says ‘Zombies don’t like fast food’, the zombie apocalypse survival guide and stuff like that, and I hope that he’s gonna like it! Even though he’s probably gonna get cavities from just looking at it.

image

For example, I wrapped up he brownies and glued some eyes onto them, just to make them look more halloween like. Probably not the most scary thing you’ve ever seen but who cares. As long as it puts a smile on his face, it’s worth it 🙂

So, I hope you’re all having an amazing weekend!

I’ll talk to you soon!
You know what I’m saying…

TGIF!

Hello everybody! 🙂

It’s finally here! FRIDAY!
That means for me, watching the new episode of Greys Anatomy and being as lazy as possible.

Every few weeks it also means, that I get to share a fay off with my husband.
We have morning skype sessions while he plays his video games and I try my very best to not fall back to sleep and drool all over the bed. We might be married, but there are things that you don’t want your partner to see if you can avoid it. At least at this early stage of our marriage 😉
That’s what keeps me going, and so far he hasn’t broken his promise he gave me before he left. We skyped every single night so far.
We’ll see how the last half of the deployment goes!

Now enough of chocolate and chips and time to get into bed without having to set an alarm for the next day. That’s the best feeling either way, right? 😉

I’ll talk to you soon!
…You get it.

hello autumn.

Hello everybody!

It’s finally here: autumn.
My very favourite season of the year.
You wake up to a crisp morning air and lovely sunshine walks wrapped up in a nice warm jacket. And obviously comfy weekends on the sofa 😀
I’m a very lazy person, sorry.

This time makes me miss my husband more than usual. We’ve not been together for long and never spend an autumn together properly. Whatever that means.

But fall also means that we’re getting closer to christmas!!! It’s my favourite time of the year right after autumn and I can’t wait!

I hope you all had an amazing day and that you’ll have an awesome day tomorrow, when autumn officially starts.

I’ll talk to you soon!!
… you get me.

Introducing myself… or something like that.

Hello everybody 🙂

I guess this very first blog post of mine is pretty self explaining.
So I just wanna share with you a little bit about who I am.

I am Dee, I’m 21 and I was born and raised in the beautiful county Germany.
Since the 15th of May 2015 I have been married to the loce of my life. He’s a SrA in the United States Air Force and the most amazing husband in this entire universe ♡

He is currently deployed and has been for the last 3 months.
I just feel like I wanna share our story and my experiences of being a military wife and even if only one person enjoys this or may find some help in this blog I’m more than satisfied.

So I hope you all have an amazing week!

I’ll see you later!!
Well text you later… I think you get what I mean.