Tag Archives: deployment

The first one.

It’s finally over!
The time of seeing each other very pixelated, trying to reconnect the call and waiting for ages in front of a weird looking frozen picture on the screen because the internet died right when you or you’re partner had to yawn or something like that.


He’s finally home.

I know that some couples have to go through deployments which are 9 or 12 months long or even longer.
But for the first one, 6 months were enough.
Before he left, everybody in his shop or every friend we talked to said ‘The first one is gonna be the worst one!’
And yes, it sucks to be alone and not being able to hug and kiss your love whenever you want. But I really have to say, that if this was the hardest deployment we had to go through, then the next one is gonna be easy!
A friend of mine is having a really hard time with her husband being gone and she cries almost every day, never leaves the flat and always stays alone at home and stuff like that. But that takes up so much of your strength that it will only make the 6 months longer and seem more endless.
If you stay busy and keep yourself entertained, you will do real good at it.

For right now, we’re incredibly happy it’s over though.

While I was waiting in the terminal where they arrived the time felt like it was standing still. Just moments away from being back in his arms I felt like it would take another few months for him to get here.
As the first Airmen started leaving the plane I got closer to the glass that kept us separated from the arriving people, put my homecoming sign I made against the glass and waited… and waited… and waited.
And finally, after 190 days, there he was. Right in front of me, only separated by a thin wall of glass.
He turned around and when he saw me he had the biggest smile on his face and I couldn’t hold back the tears.

The time until he had his bags and was able to get out felt like forever again.
Once he was finally ready to leave the terminal I hurried outside and ran up to him, we both dropped what we had in our hands and we just hugged and didn’t let go for the next at least 5 minutes.

After a lot of kisses and ‘I missed you so much!’ and after I finally stopped crying, we headed home.

Now it’ll probably take him a little while to adjust to normal life again and especially to the cold weather!

Enough for now, I’ll talk to you soon!
Yeah, you get it…


The last weekend.

Hello everybody!

Sooooo, it’s here. The last weekend before my husbands deployment is over. The last weekend that I’ll spend by myself.
Well it won’t be hus last deployment but at least the last weekend alone until he has to leave again.

It feels… kinda weird. Not bad weird, obviously! But he’s been gone for quite a while now and I’m so used to doing everything by myself. Like grocery shopping, cleaning the flat, kill the spiders (they are my biggest fear and I had to kill 2 of em the day he left, so I think the spiders know I’m alone atm!)…
It feels kinda weird that he’ll soon be back home with me and sleep in the same bed as I do and everything.
Is this normal?
I have absolutely no clue since it’s the first deployment.

I’ve got so much left to do before he gets home that I don’t even know when to do it. I’m probably gonna try to squeeze everything into this very very short weekend and probably gonna be ready for another weekend by Monday.

At least his homecoming sign that I’ll take to the airport with me is done! One point of the endless list is done! WOHOOOOO!

And now I better get going and start cleaning the flat!

I’ll talk to you soon!!
Well kinda…

The most wonderful time of the year.

Hello everybody!

Thanksgiving is over. We’re officially on our way to christmas.
The most wonderful time of the year.

With December right in front of us, we’re also getting closer to the end of my husbands deployment.

He’s been gone for a few months now and I’m used to it. Sounds harsh, but yeah, I’m used to being alone.

Earlier today i put up the christmas tree. I was watching Greys Anatomy and in the back ground played ‘I’ll be home for christmas’.
That’s when it hit me.
I looked at the undecorated tree and I started crying.
For the first time in a while it got to me.
He won’t be home for christmas, he is still hoping for it, but I’m not. I’m being realistic and he’s more likely to stay away longer.

But then I thought of how it’s gonna be when we will have our belated christmas. I have all his birthday and chrostmas presents piled up, just waiting for him to unwrap them and I can’t wait to see his face.

Those things keep me going. Thoughts like that.
They say the last few weeks are the hardest, and I think they are right.
We have less then 2 months left and I think we’re right in those weeks now. Time is gonna go by super slow and it will feel like an eternity.
But I know we can do this.
We’ll make it through this.
And then I’ll be in his arms again and hold him close.

Have an amazing rest of the weekend everyone.
Talk to you later.
Guess you get it by now…

My husband, the big child.

Hello everybody!

My husband recently asked me to send him his retainer to where he is right now.
After me reminding him of the discussion whether he would need it or not, where I was sure that he would want it at some time, I got up and grabbed the retainer and the smallest package I could find to send it off.
We all know that women are usually right in discussions either way 😉

But as I was about to go and ship off the package I thought, wait… do you really want to just send the retainer? Of course not!!

So I went to the toy store in our coty and grabbed 2 bionicles, because I remembered that he once told me that sometimes his days off are quite boring since there’s not much to do in the desert, other than building sand castles, and I guess that sucks after the first sandstorm hits you.
So I packed those as well and though it might make him smile.

So I sent it off and today he got it and I woke up to about 5 messages of him saying that we was dieing to build those bionicles asap and how happy he was about them. I would have never expected a reaction like that!
Ok I gotta admit that he is a huge nerd. He’s got a mancave and we have nearly every console that you can think of. But that he would be so excited about those toys was just awesome!
When he called me on skype tonight and I answered he was already building the first bionicle, despite the fact that he has to get up extra early tomorrow morning, he HAD TO! build it right then and there! And so he ended up making his bionicle fight the other one and he was just amazed and I think tonight he had an extra hard time to try and go to sleep instead of playing with his new toy.

Finally I know some things I can get him for christmas now, apart from just video games, because he already mentioned that he wants the red bionicle too 😀

Is it embarrassing for me to say that we enjoy playing with toys for kids? Nope! Because if we weren’t like this, our relationship would be quite boring and I’m sure our future kids will enjoy it 😀
We can’t wait to finally have kids so we can go and get all the Lego we can find!! 😉

Alright, that’s it for today!

I’ll talk to you soon!
Well text… whatever!

The days when it sucks…

Hello everybody!

First of I wanna say, there will be Spoilers to a book in here! Just so you can’t say that I didn’t warn you! 😉

Since my husband has been gone for quite a few months now, I am pretty much used to being ‘alone’.
But sometimes…

The other day my mum gave me a book. My parents LOVE their son in law, my husband. My brother isn’t married yet and I’m the youngest, so the baby anyway.
They loved him pretty much from the start and I’m so glad they do because I was definitely worried how they would react when I bring home an american who is also in the military. But they have always loved him like a son.

My mum is really into trying to make my life as a military wife easier and so she got me that book, called ‘Married to the Military’.
I read it. Well I started.
I read the first chapter and I liked it. A family of 5, about to become a family of 6 and just showing their hectic lifestyle, so just what we want for our future.
The second chapter though…
They were married for 13 years. 3 little girls. He was in the Air Force.
They moved to Alaska and one night he got send out to do a flight in cery bad weather.
I guess you all know what happened. He didn’t come back.
I cried while I was reading it. I closed the book and cried. I kept crying for about 2 more hours. I had to put away the book, kinda burry it. I just had to. This probably sounds very dramatic but that’s how I felt.

I was so terrified. Terrified that one day I’ll have to tell our kids that their daddy died. Have those people come up to my front door and tell me that he passed. I just couldn’t handle it in that moment.

I didn’t tell anyone. Not my mum, not my friends. Not my husband. Not my mum in law who has 3 of her 4 sons in the Air Force. Nobody. Why? Because I felt like no one would be able to understand what I feel like.
There was only one person who I knew I could tell this without having to feel bad about it or anything like that.

Is it just because it’s the first deployment? I dunno. Will it get better the longer i live the military lifestyle? I dunno.

What I do know, is that I love my husband. He’s my everything. I’ll probably always be terrified of losing him. But being scared just means that you don’t want to lose that person you love so much.
He is worth everything. And I know that i would always make the same decision to spend the rest of my life with him.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share this with the world. Or at least with everyone who reads this.
But why should I just share the happy moments? Life is everything. Sad and happy. And maybe, this will help someone who feels like they are alone with that feeling, like I did.

Have a good week everyone.
I’ll talk to you soon!!


We chose this. We live this. We can do this. ❤

The spooky time of the year!!

Hello everybody!

Since we’ve made it to fall now, it’s time to prepare for the next upcoming holiday:

Since I grew up in Germany and we don’t really celebrate it that big here it’s not a huge thing for me. But to my husband, who would still go trick or treat if he could, it’s the best holiday of the year! He loves the scary stuff and scared the hell out of me last year.

I was driving to the Base at like 11 pm or so and it was the most foggy night I have ever seen! I could barely see or drive faster than like 30 km/h (Sorry, no clue how much that is in miles) and I was terrified because I really felt like a zombie or a werewolf or something like that would jump out of the fog at any time!
I’m a little baby when it comes to that🙈

When I got to the Base I called him to come and get me, because we still needed a visitor pass back then.
I was just waiting on my car, hoping he’d get there super fast.
I was just listening to the music when I saw a shadow moving outside. I didn’t see where it went but I screamed my lungs out when my husband knocked on my window and just screamed at me. I was so mad at him!

But anyway, since he’s not home for Halloween this year, I decided to make him a Halloween care package.
So I got all the sweets he likes, and which can’t melt, and got him little things, like a shirt that says ‘Zombies don’t like fast food’, the zombie apocalypse survival guide and stuff like that, and I hope that he’s gonna like it! Even though he’s probably gonna get cavities from just looking at it.


For example, I wrapped up he brownies and glued some eyes onto them, just to make them look more halloween like. Probably not the most scary thing you’ve ever seen but who cares. As long as it puts a smile on his face, it’s worth it 🙂

So, I hope you’re all having an amazing weekend!

I’ll talk to you soon!
You know what I’m saying…